Introduction
Bike racing has been more fun to watch lately, due to Team
Ineos (formerly Team Sky) being less dominant. I wouldn’t say no other team dopes, but I will say no
other team does it so well as to put a stranglehold on every Grand Tour they
do. Whatever Ineos is getting wrong this year, it’s making the races more
exciting. (Not that they didn’t win their seventh Tour in a row, of course, and
for the second time in a row with a supposed domestique.)
Ineos has so far botched this year’s Vuelta a España, so I’ve been enjoying it. It’s still anybody’s race. The convicted doper Alejandro
Valverde (Movistar) has been riding suspiciously well so far, so I’ll have to
provide my usual disclaimer now: if you want responsible journalistic reporting
of the race, where everyone allowed to race is assumed clean, you’ll have to go
somewhere else. I use the terms “spade” and “filthy doping scumbag”
interchangeably.
If you’re okay with my caveat, read on for my biased
blow-by-blow report of Stage 9 of the 2019 Vuelta a España,
a very hilly stage with a summit finish at Cortals d’Encamp.
Vuelta a España Stage 9 – Andorra la Vella to Alto Els Cortals
d’Encamp
As I join the action, the riders have 80 km to go and are
nearing the top of the first climb, the Category 1 Coll d’Ordino. It’s funny, I
could just make up the names of these climbs and you’d never know the
difference. I could have called it the Coll d’Arduino after the inventor of the famous programmable circuit board who is from this
region. (No he isn’t.)
It’s about a 30 km descent to the base of the hardest climb
of the day, the HC Coll del Futbolín, named for the inventor of foosball who
was born in this region. See? You totally fell for it. It’s actually the Coll
de la Gallina, which means “climb of the chicken.” It really does ... go look it up!
Okay, while I was researching “Gallina,” the break broke.
There are seven leaders now: Robert Gesink (Jumbo-Visma), Marc Soler
(Movistar), Etxegibel Bizkarra (Euskadi Basque Country), Sepp Kuss
(Jumbo-Visma), Patrick Bevin (CCC), and—to hell with it, the front seven have
been caught again. Anyway, those are some of the players. They’ve still only
got 2½ minutes so it probably doesn’t even matter who they are.
So, in case you haven’t been following this Vuelta, it’s
been really exciting so far. First of all, no Team Ineos heavy hitters are in
there, as I mentioned earlier, so the red jersey has changed hands several
times and nobody is controlling the race. Nairo Quintana (Movistar) had an
awesome solo breakaway on a mostly flat course, which was cool. He and his
teammate, Valverde, are sharing the Movistar team leadership because they’re
both riding well. Alas, one of the favorites, Rigoberto Uran, crashed out along
with several of his Education First teammates. No major favorite has worn the
red jersey, which is currently held by Nicolas Edet (Cofidis Solutions
Credits), a French guy nobody has ever heard of who was given like nine minutes
of leash yesterday and now holds the GC lead by 2:21 over Dylan Teuns
(Bahrain-Merida) who also had the red jersey for a day. Edet has 3:07 over
Primoz Roglic (Jumbo-Visma) who is the highest placed GC favorite, sitting
fourth behind Lopez, who is 3:01 behind Edet and has worn the red jersey twice
so far.
The breakaway is now 3:30 ahead of the peloton, with 53 km
to go as they approach the base of the Gallina.
Man, they’re really flying today. After a major climb their
average speed is 43 kph (almost 27 mph)! Yeah, they’re all clean.
Getting back to my recap, Valverde sits ten seconds behind Roglic
in fifth, 11 seconds ahead of Quintana. Those are pretty much the realistic GC
contenders at this point, though I’ll draw your attention also to Tadej Pogacar
(UAE Team Emirates), the 20-year-old Slovenian in his first year as a pro who
won the Tour of California earlier this year with a dominant performance on its queen stage. He’s ridden this Vuelta really well so far and sits 9th, 5:37 behind Edet
and 2:30 behind Roglic. It’s especially impressive because he looks like he’s
about 12 years old.
The peloton has reached the base of the Gallina and Movistar
leads the chase, doing Cofidis’ job for them because Movistar is setting up
Quintana for an attack.
How do I know Quintana plans to attack? Well, it’s not just
a hunch, nor am I clairvoyant (that I know of). It’s because cyclingnews.com
reported it (here). There’s a bit of paraphrasing going on there, though. Quintana never actually said he
was going to attack, much less Roglic in particular. Quintana acknowledged that
Roglic is dangerous because he’s a great time trialist, but didn’t say anything
like “I’ma attack that sumbitch.” He did say, and I quote, “I’m feeling
mentalised to go all out. I’m feeling good.” It’s tempting to credit Quintana
with inventing a highly useful new word, but of course this is in translation.
Who knows what he actually said. Where does this translator get off, putting
nonexistent words like “mentalised” in people’s mouths? (Actually, I should
start doing that.)
Okay, I just asked Alexa if “mentalise” is a word. (Not the
Amazon Echo, but the real Alexa—my daughter.) Turns out “mentalize” is actually
a word, but something obscure in the field of psychology that doesn’t have to
do with attacking Roglic.
The aptly named Rob Power (Sunweb) is leading the breakaway
on the chicken climb. Their gap is just over four minutes now.
OMG, look at this crazy climb!
Fabio Aru (UAE Team Emirates) just went out the back. He
sucks this year. He should be working for Pogacar but instead he’s just
flailing around each day.
Sunweb is doing a lot of the work in the break, trying to
put their leader, Wilco Kelderman, into the red jersey. Keldermen sits 12th on
GC, 6:37 behind Edet.
Some Ineos guy attacks the break. It’s Tao Geoghegan Hart.
He looks kind of bored … I wonder what he’s looking at off the side of the
road. A bird? The scenery?
Esteban Chavez (Mitchelton-Scott) has some kind of bike
problem. This is significant because he is the team leader and sits 10th on GC,
5:53 back.
Astana takes over the chase, to keep Lopez in contention to
take back the red jersey.
Oddly, the so-called peloton has shrunk to the point that
it’s now smaller than the breakaway. So do we change the labels around? Should
we call the breakaway the peloton, and these guys now comprise the chase group?
Thorny semantic question…
Chaves’ teammates are doing a nice job dragging him back up.
Something went wrong with his wheel change, it wasn’t enough apparently, and he
was riding a teammate’s bike that was totally the wrong size for him like we
saw in “Breaking Away.” Chaves must feel sheepish, because he’s not riding very well right
these days. Perhaps he’s just being polite by sitting on, to make his teammates feel important.
Wow, freakin’ awesome road.
So, while I wasn’t looking (or more accurately the camera
wasn’t looking), an AG2R rider, Geoffrey Bouchard, caught Hart and dropped him.
Hart is now closing the gap again.
You don’t see many Geoffreys in bike racing for some reason.
I have a brother named Geoffrey. In grade school when he did his “My Book About
Me” project, to the prompt “What is special about you?” (you can see how the
curriculum was designed to encourage maximum narcissism) my brother wrote, “My
name is Geoffrey, not Geoff, and I am not stuppid.”
Astana continues to drill it on the front.
The gap to the group formerly known as the peloton is
dropping. It had been over four minutes and is down to 3:31. I wish I really were
clairvoyant so I could decide what to bother reporting. What a waste if these
guys don’t stay off.
Bouchard has crested the Gallina solo. I didn’t get a
shot of it. That process is difficult.
Pogacar is still in the peloton, or what we used to call the
peloton. I spotted him at the back but didn’t grab a snapshot. That process is
difficult. (Have I mentioned that?)
The chase group is disintegrating. Edet looks like he’ll
lose the lead today … he’s no longer in contact.
That dude behind Edet, #181, in the King of the Mountains jersey?
That’s Angel Madrazo (Burgos-BH) who won a mountain stage earlier in this Vuelta
after getting dropped no fewer than four times by the breakaway and then
clawing his way back. That was fricking amazing!
As you can see in the profile schematic above, after this
descent the next three climbs are practically contiguous, stair-stepping up to
the final Cat 1. That’s going to be awesome. For us, anyway. Most of the racers
probably won’t appreciate it so much.
Wow, this is a pretty stark peak.
Okay, so I don’t get this. Bouchard is solo, having opened
up the gap again back to Hart, and after this descent the course will be almost
all uphill, so his chances are looking pretty good of possibly soloing in a
Grand Tour stage. And yet, he’s not riding on the fricking drops. Why do these
racers ride on the hoods all the time? Is nothing sufficient motivation to get
aero once in a while?
Now Bouchard has begun the third climb of the day. Note that
he’s got one of his numbers turned upside down. This is either due to
superstition, or in adherence to The Rules, a bunch of observations that a bunch of self-styled cycling experts, the
Velominati, decided to make into hard-and-fast rules. I will give Bouchard the
benefit of the doubt and say he’s just a silly superstitious type. Surely he
couldn’t care less what these dorky American spectators have to say. (And no, I
don’t expect him to start riding on the drops just because I, another dorky
American spectator, have mentioned it here.)
Wow, Chaves and his teammates have managed to close a
45-second gap and have latched back on to the Lopez group (i.e., the GC
favorites chasing the break). To be honest, I did not expect him to make it.
So, two things to note in this next photo: 1) Astana is on
the front of the group again, and 2) the stats in the corner show that Geoffrey (not Geoff!) Bouchard took 27
seconds out of the chasers on that descent, despite riding on the hoods. So
maybe I’ve underestimated him … maybe he’s not stuppid. His lead is now up to
1:15.
Here is Roglic. At this point, given how well he’s climbed
so far in this race, he’s my pick for the overall GC victory by the end. He’s kind of
a badass. I’m not talking about his tattoo, by the way, even though it’s kind
of coarse and non-artistic, like he might have gotten it in prison or the
military. He’s still got a bandaged elbow … his team totally stacked in the
team time trial on the opening day of this Vuelta.
Lopez attacks, with Quintana reacting immediately!
But that was a half-assed attack, quickly neutralized.
Now Lopez goes again, and he really gives it everything! He
gets a big gap right away! Unfortunately the camera is back on Bouchard so I
can’t tell you more.
Astana wisely calls back a rider from the break to help
Lopez.
It’s one of the Izagirre brothers. I didn’t catch which.
Okay, it’s Gorka. Not like I know these guys. I don’t know them from Adam … and
in fact, I don’t even know Adam.
So, the Roglic group (i.e., what had been the Lopez group
before Lopez bailed on it) is now really, really small. The race has been blown
wide open!
Lopez has dropped his teammate and makes his way solo to try
to reel in Bouchard.
Quintana attacks! He’s in green. It’s confusing because that
other Movistar guy ahead of him was farther up the road earlier, from the
original breakaway.
Lopez catches another Astana rider. The announcers and video feed graphics haven’t done a good job of keeping track of everybody on the road.
That original break was huge and has scattered human shrapnel all over this
road.
Valverde attacks again.
I didn’t use an exclamation point there because these aren’t
real, I’m-committed-now attacks. See? Valverde is caught now because it was
just a beat-up-on-Roglic attack. Quintana counters.
It’s back together again, and now—you see that Jumbo-Visma
guy way up the road there? That’s Sepp Kuss, another orphan from the breakaway,
dropping back to support Roglic. It’s about time Roglic got some support! Kuss
should have been called back ages ago.
It’s starting to rain. NOOICE!
So, his totally Euro name notwithstanding, Sepp Kuss is an
American, from my home state of Colorado. I just learned that from my online correspondent. Another Coloradan in this race, Peter Stetina (Trek-Segafredo) tried a solo
breakaway yesterday and though it didn’t stick, he had a great stage and sits
17th overall, about eight minutes back.
So, Lopez has 35 seconds over the Roglic group. That’s
pretty good, and perhaps enough padding for a stage win, but for his GC
prospects he’ll need more time than that. He started the day only six seconds
ahead of Roglic on the GC.
Up near the finish, it’s pouring rain!
I just love watching bike racers duking it out wretchedly in
awful weather. I’m so cozy here in my home office, and I don’t have to pedal!
Surely I wouldn’t enjoy this so much if I didn’t have experience racing in lousy weather myself. Of course, I wasn’t racing to put food on my family, and could ride as poorly
as I wanted without being chewed out by my boss, so I can’t pretend to know
what it’s like for these pro racers.
Dang, the problem is, the weather is interrupting all the
footage, and also the official race radio transmissions relied upon by the
announcers, online/TV spectators, et al. So I have no idea what is going on.
At last, after at least five minutes of nothing, here’s some footage of some random rider.
Better than nothing, I guess.
Marc Soler broke away somewhere along the line and with like
5 km to go, leads the race!
Quintana has attacked! Looks like Pogacar with him! He’s got
a nice gap on the others and could win the stage and possibly the whole Vuelta
based on this ride!
Roglic is dropped! He’ll have to fight to cut his losses! Check
out the spectator in the red poncho, BTW. I love it.
Valverde, ever the asshole, can’t stand his teammate being
in the limelight, and stupidly attacks despite knowing Lopez et al will surely
go with him.
They’re calling Soler back to help Quintana and he’s pissed,
gesticulating and everything.
Roglic has made his way back up to Lopez! Valverde attacks a second time and
has a decent gap over Lopez … for the moment. And now Pogacar attacks Quintana!
Pogacar has totally dropped Quintana looks set up for a
possible stage win.
Lopez has detonated and is going backwards! And now Quintana
drops Soler and is looking to gain maximum time for his GC efforts (though I
doubt he can catch Pogacar at this point).
And Pogacar looks better and better!
He’s got the win!
Quintana takes second.
Roglic comes in third to pick up the final time bonus.
So, it’s hard to figure out what will happen with the GC
today. Obviously Edet and Teuns are out of the running, and it looks like Lopez
lost some big time. But did Quintana take enough time from Roglic to take over
the GC lead? If the infinitely selfish Valverde hadn’t helped Roglic, this
would be a no-brainer.
Here’s the stage result:
So Quintana took 25 seconds out of Roglic, and only needed
21. Plus he got a bigger time bonus. So I think he’ll be in red today! Still
waiting for the official GC.
Okay, here it is, and yes—Quintana has got it!
Check it out, Pogacar moves into 5th on GC. Amazing! He’s
also within 1½ minutes of Lopez in the Young Rider competition.
So, Movistar leadership needs to slap Valverde around now
and tell him to stop being a dick, and work for his teammate now. Sure, Valverde
is only 20 seconds back, but he’s also older than Mick Jagger.
When the adrenaline wears off, Soler will surely see the
wisdom of being called back to help Quintana. Even if Soler didn’t give Quintana that much
shelter from the wind, he needed to finish behind him to let Quintana take
maximum bonus seconds toward the GC leadership. I’m sure Movistar’s team
director will forgive Soler’s theatrics, assuming he comes around.
They’re interviewing Pogacar. Look how young this guy is …
he’s still got acne scars. “When I saw the weather would be bad today,” he
says, “I was excited. I am more aerodynamic, and more hydrodynamic, than my
rivals because my face is smooth. Racers never shave before a race because the
sweat stings, but I don’t have to shave yet. I don’t even have to shave my
legs. I am looking forward to puberty. It will make me even stronger, LOL.”
And now here’s the strangest ritual of the Vuelta: the stage
winner having a beer with his buds. It’s obviously a paid promotion for Ambar,
the brewer. The models and rider pose together, take one sip, and then—right
there onstage—throw the rest of the beer straight into the recycling. This of
course creates the impression that they don’t like the beer. I can’t think of
worse advertising—“Look, cyclists and good friends hate our beer!”—though the
first sentence of marketing fluff on the Ambar website
is pretty silly too: “This is the beer that the waiter brings when you order an
Ambar.” Truth in advertising, I guess. Of course Pogacar doesn’t even have a
sip of it. The drinking age is probably below 21 in Spain, but his parents are
strict. I’m sure his mother tells him, “Our house, our rules!” Not that he doesn’t
sneak the occasional drink, but of course she’s watching right now. How great for Pogacar: he has his first-ever Grand Tour stage win, and can now send around this photo as his very first Beck’st!
Well, that’s it for today! Now: did I call it with Pogacar,
or what? Sure, I could have falsified this report by going in after the fact
and making it look like I predicted this, but I promise you I didn’t. Maybe I am
clairvoyant! ;-)
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