NOTE: This post is rated R for mild strong language.
Update
Hear my entire Megamix (200+ songs) on Spotify - click here!
Introduction
A couple friends asked me for recommendations for music to
listen to while riding the stationary bike or indoor trainer. I’ve been crafting the all-time #1 ultimate
Workout Megamix for about two decades.
My quest began back in the mid-‘90s when I tried to ride the trainer
while listening to The Cranberries.
Nothing against them, but it wasn’t helping me get that heart rate up.
Around this time I e-mailed all my friends for recommendations
and was shocked at the dearth of fast, hard, rockin’ good stuff. People were suggesting albums like “Buena
Vista Social Club” and Miles Davis’ “Kind of Blue.” As you can see, I really needed to find some
cool friends, but that’s hard to do, so I started experimenting with different
music and I think that’s gone pretty well.
So in compiling my Workout Megamix, I thought to myself, Why
stop at a mere list when I could be describing the song and/or the band and/or
the reason I think it belongs in the list?
And so my Liner Notes idea was born.
Because this is a lot of work, I’m extending the distribution of these
notes from 2 persons to 3.17 billion (the number of souls on this planet with
Internet access).
The full list comprises 165 tracks, which at roughly 4 minutes
per track gives about 11 hours of music, which should last for about 15 indoor
workouts. If you do 3 workouts a week
this will last you 5 weeks before you get your first rerun. That ain’t so bad. These tracks are in alphabetical order by
title because that’s the order they play on my MP3 player. This post covers A-G and I’ll get to the rest in subsequent posts.
Before I begin, a quick caveat: I’m not saying I know anything about music. Whenever I find myself in the position of
expounding in detail on a thorny subject (i.e., most of the time), I find myself winging it. I hope that’s good enough for you.
One last thing:
particularly if your trainer is on the loud side (or even your
rollers—mine have aluminum drums that tend to “sing” at high speed), please do
yourself a favor and spring for noise-canceling headphones. Indoor cycling is supposed to be good for
you—don’t slowly deafen yourself in the process!
Liner Notes – Dana’s
Ultimate Superfly Workout Megamix
'Till I Collapse – Eminem
This is a perfect
one for the trainer, thematically. It
even talks about your legs getting tired:
“Till the roof comes off, till the lights go out, Till my legs give out,
can’t shut my mouth.” And you can’t ride
the trainer with your mouth shut, either.
How true that is.
8 Miles & Runnin' - Freeway/Jay-Z
This is
from the soundtrack to “8 Mile,” which was the movie that got me back into rap
after more than a decade of nothing … the wilderness years, if you will. “The New Yorker” gave “8 Mile” a good review, which I hadn’t expected. When that movie came out I knew almost
nothing about Eminem, other than what I’d gleaned from an outraged editorial
quoting some of his crude lyrics. I
remember thinking, “Man, this guy is really foul ... for him to be popular, he
must have talent or something.” The
movie convinced me. Go see it if you
haven’t, or even if you have.
911 Is a Joke - Public Enemy
Public
Enemy was one of the first rap groups I ever got into. I kind of burned out on them eventually, but
that’s not their fault. Chuck D is the
main guy, with Flavor Flav kind of his court jester. Nice combo.
A Punchup at a Wedding – Radiohead
This is the
only song I know of that’s about a fistfight breaking out at a wedding. Fortunately, my wedding was free of fisticuffs,
though I did consider beating down an attendee.
It was an outdoor wedding in an amphitheater, and some douchebag college
kid took the liberty of sitting down to watch.
It would be one thing if it were a giant wedding, but I only had like 12
or 13 guests—plus him. Meanwhile, the guy’s dog was getting a bit
too close to the wedding cake. Lucky for
him I didn’t want to fight while wearing my nice suit.
A.K.A. I-D-I-O-T - The Hives
The Hives
is a band I discovered through the music review section of “The New
Yorker.” They hail from the Swedish
industrial city of Fagersta. As the
magazine described it, “The Hives quickly became huge in Sweden, which is sort of like being the
strongest person in your house.” They
have a fast, angry sound perfect for the indoor trainer.
Adrenaline Rush - Obie Trice
I was
introduced to Obie Trice by the “8 Mile” soundtrack. Like Eminem, he’s from Detroit. Here’s a crazy biographical detail: he was shot in the head back in 2005 and is
still carrying around the bullet in his skull.
This doesn’t seem to affect his brain—his rap is kickass. “Adrenaline Rush” is not actually one of his
best songs, but it’s a good one for the trainer. I call it as “the motherfucka song” because
he says “motherfucka” about 3 dozen times.
It’ll grow on you, trust me.
Airbag – Radiohead
This song
was inspired by a British insurance company magazine (like what you might get
from AAA here) and the headline, “An airbag saved my life.” The lead singer gave this commentary on
the song: “Has an airbag saved my life?
Nah…but I tell you something, every time you have a near accident, instead of
just sighing and carrying on, you should pull over, get out of the car and run
down the street screaming, ‘I’m BACK! I’m ALIVE! My life has started again
today!’ In fact, you should do that
every time you get out of a car.”
Awesome guitar on this track.
Actually I think it’s two dueling guitars, but as I said I’m not very
knowledgeable about music.
Ass Like That – Eminem
This song
has an unfortunate chorus: “I ain't
never seen an ass like that/ The way you move it, you make my pee pee go /
Doing, doing, doing.” (The “doing”
rhymes with “boing,” not with the gerund form of “to do.” I have just realized this is a heteronym I
never noticed before ... but I digress.)
This song is from the weakest of Eminem’s albums, “Encore,” and I really
had to ask myself, “Can I listen to, much less enjoy, a song that includes
“make my pee pee go doing, doing, doing?”
After much deliberation, the answer is yes, I can and do. If you can get past this bit, it’s really a
great track ... very funny. It has held
up well. Listen for Eminem’s
impersonation of Triumph, the puppet dog, and Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Average Man - Obie Trice
This one is
badass. Lots of gun-related sounds,
which can so often be embarrassing, like in action flicks where cocking the gun
is almost as loud as shooting it. But Obie
Trice pulls it off.
Bad Girls - M.I.A.
I stumbled
on M.I.A. quite by accident. M.I.A.
stands for “Missing In Acton” (not “Action” as Wikipedia erroneously
reports). Acton is a part of London I
know about from taking the Underground. M.I.A.
(full name Mathangi “Maya” Arulpragasam) is British/Sri Lankan and I’d say her genre
is a hybrid of dance, grime, hip-hop, and world music. I first learned of her through a magazine I
randomly started getting in the mail called “Complex.” I never did gather whether this was COM-plex,
like the psychological conflict, or com-PLEX, as in complicated. (Another heteronym!) It was a weird magazine. Not quite white, not quite black, not quite
about music, just a hodgepodge. I kind
of liked it because it was so random, and featured babes. “Complex” did a profile of M.I.A., and I
bought a disc on a whim, and it turns out she’s tot’ly wicked. This song has
become one of my favorites, though I didn’t much like it at first. Be sure to check out the YouTube video too.
Bad Guy – Eminem
This song
is fricking brilliant. But you have to
listen to “Stan” first or it won’t make much sense. If Shakespeare were alive today, he’d be a
rapper, and he’d envy Eminem. I know
that sounds crazy but trust me on this ... I was an English major.
Be Somebody - Kings of Leon
Way back in
like 2002, a friend randomly sent me a Kings of Leon a disc in the hope that
I’d like it. I did, and do. I like their newer stuff better; originally
the lead singer kind of mumbled because he was afraid his mom would hear the
lyrics and be offended. Nowadays I hear Kings
of Leon on the radio, which makes me think I’m cool because I knew [of] them back in
the day, man.
Beautiful – Eminem
This song,
though quite good, is admittedly just a little cheesy. But, as the father of daughters, I can’t help
but admire it, and hope that if anybody ever insults my daughter’s
looks, she can remember this song and say, “You can go get f*cked.”
Beautiful Pain - Eminem w/ Sia
This song
follows what’s becoming a pretty established motif for Eminem: he does the rapping, but the chorus is sung by
some popular female singer with a great voice.
I guess there are purists who don’t like the obvious commercial
motivation behind this format, but why the hell would I care? Is it really a problem if Eminem or someone like him has
more money than some robber baron or advertising exec? I think the snarling rapper and great singer
go well together.
Best Rapper Alive - Lil Wayne
I’m not
very familiar with all the hip-hop acts out there, much less pop, but at some
point I became vaguely aware there was a rapper called Lil Wayne, so on a lark
I bought a CD of his at Target. Turns
out he’s rather good and occasionally brilliant. This isn’t his best song but it’s got the
driving beat, and sometimes you gotta bulk out the megamix or those
crème-de-la-crème tracks will get old.
Black Hole Sun – Soundgarden
I thought
the video for this was mind-blowing back in 1994. I
watched it more recently and it hasn’t aged well. The song, though, is still great. These guys are from Seattle which means they
probably drink a lot of coffee and like to take the elevator up inside the
Space Needle. (Can you tell I did
extensive research for these liner notes?)
Black Steel in the Hour of Chaos - Public Enemy
One of the
best PE tracks they is. Sing along! Perform it for your kids!
Blow Up the Outside World – Soundgarden
This is the
best song Soundgarden ever recorded.
I’ll confess it seemed pointless at first, but at some point its brilliance
dawned on me, and I’ve now adopted it as my credo, my mantra, and my mission
statement. If you’re riding hard enough
on the trainer or the rollers, and the music is doing its job, you’ll feel
something kind of like excitement, kind of like fight-or-flight, and kind of
like anger, as you thrash away, ensconced in your headphones and your private
pain cave. In this state it seems
completely reasonable to blow up the outside world.
Born Free - M.I.A
A workout
megamix needs to include either this song or the John Barry song written for the 1966 movie, about lions,
called “Born Free.” In the end this one
won out, because a) the other one sucks, and b) if I get the other one in my
head, I always substitute my brother’s lyrics, which went, “Born dead/ The baby
had no head.”
Brain Stew - Green Day
I saw these
guys in concert at one of those music festivals in Golden Gate Park (WOMAD, I
think) and didn’t think they were that good.
Over the next two decades my wife kept asking me to get her an album by
these guys and finally I relented. Turns
out plenty of the songs I’d enjoyed on our local alternative (i.e., mainstream)
rock station are by Green Day. (I didn’t
realize this because modern deejays are far too cool to ever provide the name
of a song or whom it’s by, and they never use the word “whom” either.) Green Day is not a great band—one song sounds
too much like another IMHO—but the two guys who started it are from Rodeo, a
godforsaken little cow town I have to ride through on some bike rides, and I applaud
them for transcending such humble roots.
Plus they got their start playing at a little punk club that’s walking
distance from my house (though I’m not cool enough to go there). “Brain Stew” has a very simple but thrashable
guitar line. Can I say “guitar
line”? Does that even mean anything?
Bucky Done Gun - M.I.A.
“Done” and
“Gun” don’t look like they should rhyme, but they do. I don’t really know what (if anything) this
song is “about,” and I don’t care.
Burden in My Hand – Soundgarden
“Burden in
my hand” is just one of those phrases that sound cool. Don’t overthink it. That’s my advice for lots of this music. Riding the trainer isn’t like going to a
poetry reading, okay?
Cash Money Millionaires - Lil Wayne
This song
is pretty dumb, in the best possible way.
Go Weezy!
Cha Ching (Cheq 1-2 Remix) - Lady Sovereign
This is off
“Run the Road,” a grime compilation.
Grime is kind of like hip-hop, but British, and maybe a bit faster. Lady Sovereign is a very short person and has
one of those ponytails that sticks out of the side of her head like the girl in
“Napoleon Dynamite.” I wish Lady
Sovereign would come to a party at my house.
If she turned out to be a smoker, I’d even let her smoke in the
house—that’s how cool she is. I hope she
doesn’t smoke, though. It’s gross and
bad for you.
Charmer - Kings of Leon
Everyone I
know hates this song. What’s wrong with
everybody? If you hate it, I don’t want
to hear about it. I like it. Obviously.
Cheers - Obie Trice
This is a
great track. I sometimes sing along,
though that gets awkward because he uses the n-word. He’s allowed to, of course. It’s okay because I’m usually too out of
breath to sing anyway.
Closer - Kings of Leon
You know
how with some bands all the songs sound alike?
Not so with Kings of Leon. This
one is way cool and a good track to hammer to as you fight to become a King of
Lean.
Come As You Are – Nirvana
I’m not
actually sure Nirvana is a good band for working out to … the tempo might be a bit
wrong. But you can set your brakes to drag and stand up. I kind of feel like
supporting this band since as everybody knows their lead singer killed
himself. It would be such a shame if he
were forgotten, like Men At Work. At
least those guys are still alive and kicking, as far as I know.
Comfortably Numb - Pink Floyd
Clearly this
song needs no introduction. By the way,
I’m sick of people saying “Dark Side of the Moon” is Pink Floyd’s best
album. Of course that’s a great album
but “The Wall” is better. This Roman
Meal bakery thought you’d like to know.
Cool Cats - Obie Trice
My favorite
part? When Obie says “blaow!”
Creep – Radiohead
Of course
you heard this on the radio all the time back in the ‘90s. This isn’t quite as strong as the other stuff
on this list, but you might as well re-familiarize yourself with it so you can
sing it in the shower.
Cry Now - Obie Trice
Desperation - Eminem
Diamonds From Sierra Leone - Kanye West
I don’t
know what to make of Kanye West. On the
one hand, several of his songs, such as this one, seem pretty cool. On the other hand, somebody showed me the
video of “Bound 2” and I almost vomited into my soup. And I wasn’t even eating soup! That video
would be a crime against humanity even without
Kim Kardashian in it. But I liked “Diamonds
From Sierra Leone” before I saw the “Bound 2” video; why should that change?
Don't Shoot (I'm a Man) - Devo
It was a
little frightening buying Devo’s first album in two decades. I really liked Devo back in the day and
didn’t want to hear them embarrass themselves.
But this album, “Something for Everybody,” is great! As is this song!
Drive Slow - Kanye West
I like this song a lot. More than it deserves, probably. It always reminds me of a “New Yorker” story
from July 10, 2000 called “The Saturday Morning Car Wash Club” by James Ellis
Thomas. Somehow I get the pleasure of
that story just by hearing this song … all while training indoors! It’s like alchemy or something!
Déjà Vu – Eminem deja
This song
is about overdosing in front of your kids.
Pretty heavy. But it’s a kickass
song and the only rap song I know with two different French accent marks in its
title.
Easy to Crash – Cake
Cake is
from Sacramento and used to play the coffeehouse circuit there. Did you know Sacramento had a coffeehouse
circuit? Me neither. This song is not about crashing while riding
rollers, but I did do that the other day.
I was riding out of the saddle and made the mistake of shifting up and
accelerating. I rode right off the front
of the rollers, hit the carpet, went flying (surfing my bike at this point),
hit the fan, knocked it ass-over-teakettle right into my main road bike (which
was leaning against the wall), tipping it over.
I managed to dismount my rain bike and catch my other bike by the
handlebar just before it would have hit the floor. Alexa saw the whole thing and was duly
impressed.
Enter Sandman – Metallica
I became
aware of Metallica all the way back in high school when this stoner kid used to
talk about them. He had super long
fluffy white hair and puffy red eyes and was oddly chummy with me. “Dude, it’s my birthday and my dad’s throwin’
me a party. I’m not talkin’ no birthday
cake and candles either … we’re gonna get drunk!” This dialogue didn’t involve Metallica per
se, but I always associated them with that kid.
Anyhow, fast forward a few decades to when I watched “Some Kind of
Monster,” a documentary about Metallica hiring a consultant to help them get
along while cutting an album.
Fascinated, and dimly aware that Metallica had made music with the SF
symphony, I bought their eponymous album and guess what? It R4WKs!
It’s kind of silly as well, I have to say.
These guys are a bit on the earnest side, but heavy metal shouldn’t be
tongue in cheek or ironic. Just roll
with it. Belt out “We’re off to never
never land” in front of your kids and watch them cringe.
Fell In Love With a Girl - The White Stripes
I didn’t
expect to like the White Stripes because so many people bagged on them. But oddly, the biggest complaint I heard was
that they’re overrated. How can they be
overrated when everybody bags on them?
And anyway, who cares? They’re
quite good, if a bit sloppy. This song
has a video with cats playing guitars, which I showed to my kids when they were tiny, and to this day they love
this song. Since I love them, it’s just
a big love-in whenever I hear this.
Fell On Black Days - Soundgarden
Fight the Power - Public Enemy
Follow My Life - Obie Trice
Fresh - Devo
Galang - M.I.A.
Girls LGBNAF - Ice-T
You
absolutely mustn’t play this song on the hi-fi when your kids are around. The lyrics are filthy, at least by ‘80s
standards. Also, don’t play it on your
boom box out in the driveway unless you’re ready to silence it very
quickly. I was working on my bike,
playing this, and a famous writer/illustrator of children’s books came walking
down the sidewalk with her dog. I had to
scramble to prevent an embarrassing episode!
Ice-T is from L.A. and was one of my early favorites. He’s held up well!
Give It Away - Red Hot Chili Peppers
Another
band from L.A. One of my college
roommates, a rich kid with over 400 CDs in his collection (yes, I counted them
once) used to play this song almost constantly, along with “Down In It” by Nine
Inch Nails. They were the only two songs
I ever heard him play. I didn’t realize
I liked this song (and band) until years later when I’d recovered from that
roommate. A colleague of mine once
encountered this band’s bass player, Flea, on an airplane. They were both flying first class to
Europe. Flea seemed to be on drugs and
decided to climb up into the overhead bin to sleep. (He’s not a very big guy.) This caused a major altercation with the
flight attendant.
Got Hungry - Obie Trice
Obie hit a long dry spell (from 2006 to 2012)
between his second and third studio albums.
I started anticipating his third album in 2008 and was getting mighty
impatient when in 2009 he decided, probably just to pay the bills, to release a
compilation of old stuff, which he called “Special Reserve.” It was kind of unpolished, but full of highly
energetic stuff like this song. Perfect
with a lactic acid chaser!
Stay tuned
Obviously I still have H thru Z to go. I hope you like this topic because it'll be the next 4 or 5 posts at this rate. Click here for Part II.
More reading
Here are links to the rest of my series of Workout Megamix liner notes:
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For a complete index of albertnet posts, click here.
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